About Polyamory

Polyamory is “the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships where individuals may have more than one partner, with the knowledge and consent of all partners.”  No, it’s not cheating.  Cheating would imply some underhanded dealings, and we don’t cotton to such ideas.  Why would you hurt someone you cared about like that?

No, being polyamorous requires a lot of love, trust, and conversation.  Joshua refers to it as “relationships on hard mode”.  Think you have problems with your girlfriend now?  Imagine if you had to juggle the needs of two women?  Could you do it?  Could you keep everyone happy and content?  It’s harder than it sounds, especially when conflicts arise.

We refer to our little family as our “polycule”, think molecule… but replace the “mall” sound with a “paul” sound… yep, that’s us… a polycule.  I’ve also heard of people refer to it as their constellation, and I can certainly see the symbolism there as well.  What the heck am I talking about?  It’s the configuration of relationships.  We typically write down peoples names and then draw a line between each person who has a romantic relationship.  For instance…

Amber
|
Collin
|
Joshua __ Jasmine

… this is a very basic look at our little polycule.  These are the people that I share my home with.  Now, if we included people we have a romantic relationship with, but don’t necessarily include in our home, the polycule looks something more like this…

Amber
|
Collin
|
Joshua __ Jasmine
|
Crystal __ Chris __ Nicole __ Garrett
|
Jinny __ Andy

See how things can mutate fast? Also with this, a whole new vocabulary begins to build.  Amber is Collin’s girlfriend, and Joshua is Collin’s boyfriend, but what is Amber to Joshua?  Clearly, they have a relationship that goes beyond just “room mates”, and a relationship with its own unique challenges, yet most common nomenclatures fall pretty short. But never fear, the polyamorous community has a word for it: If the one you love can be called your paramour, then the love of your love is your “metamour”… Amber is Joshua’s love’s love, get it?  This could be expanded to say that Amber is Jasmine’s meta-metamour, but it starts to get silly fast… so we just leave it at metamour and call it a day.

If you want to find more reference materials for polyamory, some common works would be:  “The Ethical Slut” by Janet Hardy or “Opening Up” by Tristan Taormino.